


are we ever satisfied?

by lightningrani



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 08:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4997734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningrani/pseuds/lightningrani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reynolds Pamphlets were better than the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	are we ever satisfied?

**Author's Note:**

> I've been playing 'Satisfied' on loop for a bit now, so blame that for this interesting piece of writing. Oh, yeah, and I haven't seen the play. This is all based off the soundtrack. And what I've read off Wikipedia.

Neither of them planned this. Of course they didn't. Alexander loved his wife. Angelica loved her sister.

It happened purely by accident.

The first time, it was during a surprise visit. She had been looking over his plans, nitpicking his logic and language, no matter how tiny the detail was. He got tired of this game, and grabbed the papers from her hands.

Their hands touched. And he kept on touching her. 

Alexander would have backed away, of course he would, he was a respectable man, he would never touch a woman like that if she wasn't interest. But she met his gaze, and her eyes were filled with that kind of desire that he never thought he would see in his life.

He remembered how they first kissed, her back pushed against her desk, the sound of paper crinkling in her hand as she grabbed for something to keep her study. His hands traced her curves, her breasts. 

She didn't push back. She was the one who pulled him towards the bed.

(Angelica avoided looking at the side of the bed where her sister would sleep. She avoided thinking what her sister felt when Alexander went down on her, with his quick tongue of his.)

Neither of them could meet Elizabeth's gaze when she came back, Phillip following her like the dutiful son he was. Angelica was on the next boat out. It was for the better, they both agreed.

(They ignored how their letters would delve into less appropriate subjects, how their wits would go from playful taunts to ones which had a different kind of heat beneath them. It went to the point that they had to read them in private or else risk embarrassing themselves.)

It should have stayed like that. Both of them knew better. Alexander had a prestigious job, he had Elizabeth. Angelica had a life across the ocean, one that she shouldn't neglect.

The second time, it happened after Alexander offered to help clean Angelica's dress after she spilled some wine on it. It escalated from there.

The third time, Alexander was pushed up against his bedroom door, Angelica showing him exactly how much she missed him.

**

It was better this way, Alexander said once, as he delicately traced Angelica's cheekbone with his finger. Angelica had climbed the social ladder like her father wanted. Their marriage would have been impossible to arrange. Alexander had earned the social capital he needed to make the changes needed in this world. And with this arrangement, their intellectual needs could be met. 

Of course, if the world was a fairer place, they would never have to go to such desperate measures. 

If that makes you feel better, Angelica said with a tiny smile, as she ignored the happy pictures of her sister with the man she just slept with.  

He didn't respond. Maybe in a different world, with a different woman, he could have convinced him that nothing was wrong with this. But not with her. 

Denial, then. He started to trace her neck with kisses. It worked, until he laid next to Elizabeth, who was unknowingly sleeping in the same spot her sister just lay.

Why was it so hard to remember why it was so wrong when Angelica was in front him? 

**

Reynolds found out.

They should had been more careful. It was a bit daring to do what they did with the window uncovered, and that weasel was always looking for a way to gain power, money, anything to make his life easier. 

He sauntered into the house, evil smile on his face, with his demands. Both of them knew what it would mean, what it would mean for Elizabeth, if the truth came out. Neither of them could hurt her like that.

They should have stopped after that. They knew the damage that could happen.

But they didn't. They couldn't. And as the years went by, with nothing happening, it seemed like their worries were for nothing.

**

Even after the pamphlet, the pamphlet which Alexander filled with half-truths that Reynolds didn't dare to refute-for who would believe Alexander cheating on his wife for her sister?-they could have continued. Nothing had changed. No one was looking at their situation anymore.

But when Alexander saw Angelica's face, filled with stony rage as she walked towards her sister to give her a hug, he knew it was over. He did the one thing that they promised they would never do.

He hurt Elizabeth, for his own sake.

That was something a Schuyler like Angelica could never forgive. 

**

He came to her, after Phillip's death, tears streaking down his face. Both sisters knew how much being a father meant to him. But Elizabeth was recovering from so much already. Alexander couldn't hurt her more. So to Angelica he went instead.

She gathered him in her arms and held him. Alexander wasn't expecting anything more. Neither was Angelica.

In retrospect, kissing his tears away was probably not the best move to make.

He cried in her hair after they were done. She whispered comforting words as she rubbed her hand across his bare back.

While their meetings were never as frequent as they were in the past, they still continued. Alexander needed some sort of comfort, after what happened.

(There were times he could still see that anger in Angelica's eye, because of the decision he had made. He was never really sure what changed her mind.)

(He never thought that maybe, that night he came to her door, he looked more pitiful than Elizabeth ever did.)

**

Did it end with Hamilton's death? Did it end with the two sisters comforting each other over the loss of a friend, the loss of a lover? Did it end with Angelica throwing herself into Hamilton's legacy, under the guise of helping her sister, as a way to have something which belonged to him?

Or did it continue? 

Maybe, in the skies above, where spirits live after death, Hamilton smiles pleasantly at his wife, at his son, at all the people who he loved during his time on Earth. Does he glance at Angelica, once in a while, eyes glinting with something which seemed out of place on this plane of existence? 

Does Elizabeth sometimes turn around to find her husband gone, with no idea where he went? Did meetings between the two last longer than they should, with them leaving looking a bit frazzled?

(Does Elizabeth ever learn the truth?)

And maybe, maybe at night, after they have tired each other out, Angelica turns to Alexander, who stares at the endless sky above them. She asks him, her voice quiet and ticklish against his skin, if he was finally satisfied.

And Alexander, never taking his gaze off the sky, says the same thing he always does.

"We'll never be satisfied."

 


End file.
